The 99 Names of Allah
Although called "names", they are actually more attributes. One hadith of Muhammad is often cited:
"Verily, there are 99 names of God, 100 minus 1. He who enumerates [and believes in them and the one god behind] them would get into Paradise." [Sahih Muslim, Vol. 4, no. 1410]
Some Muslims use a rosary (Tasbih), in order to recite the ninety-nine names. The use of the rosary was at the time of Mohammed not yet well-known. The rosary consists mostly of 33 beads (in 3 passages one pulls 99 beads) or 99 beads, according to the 99 invocation (name, designation, characteristic, attribute) of God. From Islamic view, the hundredth name of God is unpronounceable and unknown to humans. The first two names are used in the well-known formula Bismi llahi r-rahmani r-rahim ("In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful"), which constitutes the first verse of every in 113 of the 114 sura.
English List of The 99 Names
There is no "one" list of the 99 names: in the Qur'an, for example, "The Lord of Infinite Grace" is mentioned, but this name is not part of the traditional list of the 99 names of God.
It is not possible to perfectly translate the 99 names of Allah from their original Arabic into English. However, here are some fairly close explanations.
"He is Allah (God), the Creator, the Originator. The Fashioner; to Him belong the most beautiful names: whatever is in the heavens and on earth, do declare His praises and Glory. And He is the Exalted in Might, The Wise. (Quran 59:24)
- The Most Gracious
- The Most Merciful
- The King, The Sovereign
- The Most Holy
- The Peace and Blessing
- The Guarantor
- The Guardian, The Preserver
- The Almighty, The Self Sufficient
- The Powerful, The Irresistible
- The Tremendous
- The Creator
- The Rightfull
- The Fashioner of Forms
- The Ever Forgiving
- The All Compelling Subduer
- The Bestower
- The Ever Providing
- The Opener, The Victory Giver
- The All Knowing, The Omniscient
- The Restrainer, The Straightener
- The Expander, The Munificent
- The Abaser
- The Exalter
- The Giver of Honour
- The Giver of Dishonour
- The All Hearing
- The All Seeing
- The Judge, The Arbitrator
- The Utterly Just
- The Subtly Kind
- The All Aware
- The Forbearing, The Indulgent
- The Magnificent, The Infinite
- The All Forgiving
- The Grateful
- The Sublimely Exalted
- The Great
- The Preserver
- The Nourisher
- The Reckoner
- The Majestic
- The Bountiful, The Generous
- The Watchful
- The Responsive, The Answerer
- The Vast, The All Encompassing
- The Wise
- The Loving, The Kind One
- The All Glorious
- The Raiser of The Dead
- The Witness
- The Truth, The Real
- The Trustee, The Dependable
- The Strong
- The Firm, The Steadfast
- The Protecting Friend, Patron and Helper
- The All Praiseworthy
- The Accounter, The Numberer of All
- The Producer, Originator, and Initiator of All
- The Reinstater Who Brings Back All
- The Giver of Life
- The Bringer of Death, The Destroyer
- The Ever Living
- The Self Subsisting Sustainer of All
- The Perceiver, The Finder, The Unfailing
- The Illustrious, The Magnificent
- The One, The Unique, Manifestation of Unity
- The One, the All Inclusive, The Indivisible
- The Impregnable, The Eternally Besought of All, The Everlasting
- The All Able
- The All Determiner, The Dominant
- The Expediter, He Who Brings Forward
- The Delayer, He Who Puts Far Away
- The First
- The Last
- The Manifest, The All Victorious
- The Hidden, The All Encompassing
- The Patron
- The Self Exalted
- The Most Kind and Righteous
- The Ever Returning, Ever Relenting
- The Avenger
- The Pardoner, The Effacer of Sins
- The Compassionate, The All Pitying
- The Owner of All Sovereignty
- The Lord of Majesty and Generosity
- The Equitable, The Requiter
- The Gatherer, The Unifier
- The All Rich, The Independent
- The Enricher, The Emancipator
- The Withholder, The Shielder, the Defender
- The Distressor, The Harmer (only be found in hadith)
- The Propitious, The Benefactor
- The Light
- The Guide
- The Incomparable, The Originator
- The Ever Enduring and Immutable
- The Heir, The Inheritor of All
- The Guide, Infallible Teacher and Knower
- The Patient, The Timeless.
Church and Religion related Humor. For one the famous question: Is Hell Exothermic?, and a funny letter named Dear Dr. Laura that travelled the Internet a few years ago.